Psalm 33:18-22

"Behold, the eye of the Lord is on

those who fear him,

on those who hope in his

steadfast love

that he may deliver their soul

from death

and keep them alive in famine,

Our soul waits for the Lord,

he is our help and our shield,

For our heart is glad

in him,

because we trust in his holy name.

Let your steadfast love, O Lord,

be upon us

even as we hope in you."

Prayer

Currently I'm reading Philip Yancey's book on prayer and am receiving good profit from doing so. These last few years this--prayer--has been difficult for me owing to a variety of reasons. It's not always (though sometimes) a matter of making the time for the discipline; often the problems involve feeling distant from God and latent anger or frustration.

I'm considering instituting into the pattern of my life regular times of prayer throughout the day and have even toyed with the idea of utilizing a prayer book. I'm open to hearing other people's thoughts on the subject, including practices that work well. What I like so far about Yancey's book (and all his books, for that matter) is the forthright acknowledgment that all the puzzles inherent in prayer may be unsolvable, but justification enough for the practice thereof may be be found in the fact that Jesus--who experienced the same things we do--prayed. For this reason I want to pray and understand the experiences of others. Please share.

T/K: Meditating on God--a lost art?

Multi-Purpose Knives

Taking a break from the tedium of proofreading, I happened to be watching a special on the History Channel--yeah, we get cable for the first time in our marriage!--about knives. The narrator was drawing a distinction between our current era's use of diverse kinds of knives according to task and an earlier time's reliance on one type of knife to accomplish all purposes.

The fact alone is not that startingly, but the manner in which the narrator drove home the point (get it?) made me laugh. Speaking of the chaps of a bygone era, he said that the "same knife a man would use to stab his wife's lover, would be employed in eating because of its effectiveness in slicing through butter." Nice.

This, of course, reminded me our butcher knife back home in WP. Not until years later, after having utilized the blade countless times, did I overhear my mom mentioning in an offhand manner to a guest (probably after being asked "where she had purchased such a fine knife") that this same knife was a murder weapon brought as evidence in a trial in which my dad was involved as an attorney; after the trial was over, my mom apparently was able to secure the weapon for her kitchen. I can only imagine that the knife was as effective as a murder weapon as it was for slicing through chicken.

Back (in limbo)

After a long hiatus, I'm back. Just about a month ago we moved to Missouri and are trying to adjust to new scenery and pace of life. It still seems somewhat surreal. From the moment we made the decision for P. to accept a residency position in Missouri to the time of move was probably only a couple months, and I guess that wasn't enough time to process fully what was happening.

So, we're here and attempting to adapt. Ultimately the decision to come here was probably a good one, as the residency position seems to be a good one, and it's great being closer to family. Being here, however, makes decision making about future jobs and/or grad school a more agonizing process. Earlier today I was reflecting on how straight-forward in conviction (though obviously fraught with suffering) was Paul's missionary commitment. I wish I had his sense of certaintly and conviction. In Philippians the apostle writes of his "partnership in the gospel" with the recipients of his letter, and remains certain that their prayers will result in his deliverance, meaning most of all that "Christ is glorified" in his body.

Reading of Paul, I'm forced to question whether my life goals are forged of personal ambition and aim at invididual glory. Should I be pursuing something that is more transparently service to the gospel? And where do personal gifting and (God-given?) interests fit into the vocation equation? These are questions with which I'm wrestling. I don't expect to have the answers anytime soon. Although I must have some answer soon . . .