My wife and I went to see a movie the other night. Our intent was to watch Walk the Line--the movie about Johnnie Cash and June Carter Cash. Unfortunately, it was sold out, and we ended up settling for Shop Girl. I'm still reflecting on the movie, but one that that strikes me powerful at this stage is just how much the characters in the movie were driven in their relationship by their own needs, especially Steve Martin's character. Not that this need for self-fulfillment in a relationship is unusual, but it was powerfully portrayed when Ray Porter (Steve Martin) intiated a relationship for the pure purpose of sexual satisfaction, misleading in the process his female counterpart, Mirabelle Butterfield (Claire Danes). The act of betrayal goes far beyond the sexual aspect. Because he's fixated on his own emotionally jaded desires, he's not able to see the dignity of Mirabelle even as he's trampling on it.
Watching the movie I felt fairly uncomfortable, as I've been thinking a lot lately about what it means to see others completely free of the needs I feel that I have, needs conditioned through destructive relationships of the past, unhealthy coping strategies of the present, and, ultimately, lack of intimacy with the one who should satisfy all my needs. The reason why I was uncomfortable watching the movie was not because I could safely condemn the character's actions, but rather because in them I saw my own way of relating to God's image-born creatures.
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